


Number 6

by Elux



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Ben Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Character Study, Childhood, Crying, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, I Don't Even Know, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Sad, Sibling Bonding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-24
Updated: 2019-06-24
Packaged: 2020-05-19 04:15:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19349302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elux/pseuds/Elux
Summary: How I imagined Ben's childhood and some of his reactions about the canon.





	Number 6

**Author's Note:**

> Hey,  
> So, I wrote this after the show was released and never finished it nor published it and I decided to do it now.  
> Warning : this is not finished (sorry), there might be grammatical and spelling errors.  
> Enjoy !

Since he discovered his power he always had been afraid of them. He was grossed out by them. Number 6, Ben, didn't like it, sometimes he wished he had never been born, or at least without a power like his. It was a strange thing, his siblings had gotten “cool” power compared to him, minus Klaus and Vanya. He was always afraid that his power would somehow lash out at one of his siblings, or worse, an innocent person. In a sense, because of his power, he was glad that their father didn't let them go outside of the academy, except for missions. That way he would never hurt someone, at least he hoped. Not that he enjoyed missions, in all honesty he despised them but it was better to go with his siblings than to stay at home. The missions were also a good way to unleash the tentacle without hurting innocents. 

He really didn't like the academy, and his father by the way. He was really sad for Vanya when he saw that now she always had to stay home when they went out for missions. But after the missions the monsters were worse. Well, in a way it was always horrible because he had to contain them all the time, and he could feel the creatures beneath his skin. The “funny thing” was that his siblings were trained to unleash their powers or keep them going for a long time whereas he had to keep them from getting out. 

At night he would often wake up panting and sweating after nightmares. He would then feel them under his skin, more than ever. He, sometimes, would try to not sleep because he was afraid that they would get out while he slept. The terrible thing was also the fact that they came out of his stomach. It felt like an itch under his skin that would never stop. He would feel sick for days after using them, the first time they came out he ended up sick for weeks. The monters would cause him intense stomach pains. He often would skip meals because he didn't felt well because of them. Not really skipping because he had to be sitting at the table with his siblings and his father, but he would try to not eat without getting noticed, it was hard with his siblings. And when he could eat normally, he would after get severe heartburns and puke everything. Most of the time he also had trouble sleeping, sometime it would be because he felt them crawling under his skin and he was so scared that he couldn't sleep. Other times it was because of the nightmares. 

 

One night, he finally fell asleep without troubles, only to be awoken by a nightmare. He jolted awake so fast that he fell out of his bed. He didn't even tried to get up, still shaken by the nightmare. He was curled in a ball on the floor of his room, crying his eyes out. 

Too busy crying he hadn't heard the door of his room opening and jumped when he heard it being closed. He instantly looked up in fear, afraid that it was their father, only to find Klaus standing in his room. He was relieved, but still didn't get up from the floor exhausted by all the tears. He was glad that Klaus was there but he still felt bad. Klaus, whithout a noise, came to sit next to him on the cold floor of his room. Ben was shaking but not because of the cold floor, he was still thinking about his dream. He heard Klaus getting closer to him but didn't move. 

“Hey” said Klaus as he placed an hand on his shoulder.

Ben still didn't moved nor said a thing.

“Do you want to talk about it ?” 

Ben didn't know. Sure, he wanted to talk to someone about the monsters, but should he really do it ? He didn't want to creep Klaus out with this and the nightmares. He was far too tired to really think about it logically so he decided to tell Klaus about it. He trusted Klaus more than anything, even more than himself. He wasn't scared that his brother was going to spill his secrets to his siblings or worse, dad. Klaus would never do a thing like that . He took a deep, shuddering, breath and started to talk.

“Y-you know that that I don't want these powers, hell, you're the only one in this house who can understand that.“

Klaus was looking at him, listening carefully.

“And...” his voice was hoarse “It's really horrible because whatever I do I feel them, all the time. I feel them crawling under my skin and I'm scared. Scared that they would somehow hurt one of you or that I wil loose control on a mission and end up killing everyone. It's terrifying and I feel like a monster because I let them do what they want, I let them kill people. All of you have powers to save people and I feel like mine are only here to destroy. I can't protect people with my powers, I can't save people. I can't even save my own family.” 

He was sobbing again. Klaus didn't say anything for a moment, just giving him a hug, letting him cry until he couldn't. Klaus decided to speak up, he couldn't let his brother like that, Ben needed to know that at least someone was there for him.

“Ben, please, don't be afraid I will always be there for you to help with them. They're not the ones in control you are, and I trust you. It's alright, you're not going to hurt any of us. Don't look at me like that, you have control on your powers and I know it. More important I know that if they wanted to hurt us you would stop them. And you're definetely not a monter , you're just human like us. Not everything is your fault you can't control everything. It's not your fault that Luther got hurt the other day, he didn't saw it, it can happen, it's not your fault because you couldn't stop it. You're also allowed to make mistakes, I know dad won't think like me but honestly who care ? Certainly not me. Ben, it's not your fault ! You don't choose to kill those people, it's dad that force us to do it. You're not like him Ben, you care about other people. And I care about you too, so please, if you have a nightmare or just want to talk, come see me. I don't want to see you like this anymore.”

They were now hugging each other like their lives depended on it, still sitting on the floor of Ben's room. After that they spent the rest of the night together. They talked a lot until they fell asleep, Klaus even ended up sleeping with him. They didn't want to be alone, at least for now.  
It became a routine for them to do that, they didn't cared that they weren't child anymore, they needed it. After this night Ben started to feel better, like the creatures had calmed down too. He was now spending most of his time with Klaus. He still tried to keep time for Vanya, he didn't want to leave her alone. He was also starting to get happier, as happy as he could be when living in the same house as his father. It was one of the happiest period of his life.

 

Then it happened. It started as a normal day in the academy, or so he though. He had breakfast with all of his siblings, like any other days. When he left to go in his room, his father called him. He apparently wanted him to do a mission with Luther. It was unusual, most of the time their father would sent everyone or only Luther on a mission, but not just the two of them. He didn't complain or tried to change their father's mind because he knew it was a loss of time. Their father wouldn't want to hear a thing. Despite that he didn't want to go, he was doing a great job keeping the tentacles inside and now that he had to unleash them he knew that they were going to be angry. And believe him, no one want them to be angry, especially not him. Keeping them inside was harsh and painful but unleashing them after a long time was worse, the pain was unbearable. 

He tried to not think about it and got ready for the mission, they were supposed to leave in twenty minutes. He couldn't even say goodbye to Klaus, he didn't want to risk his father being angry at him. He went to meet Luther and they left almost immediately. He didn't even ask what the mission was about and to be honest he didn't care. 

They arrived at the place about an hour later. He then found out that they had to go in the building for a rescue mission. Apparently, the hostages were alone in a room for now, so it was safe to just retrieve them and then leave immediately.

But like everything in Ben's life, it didn't go as planned. It was a trap, the captors were still in the building, and waiting for them. Ben was starting to panic, he felt the creatures moving under his skin, it wasn't good. There was about twenty people or so waiting to kill them. And he had to be careful of the hostages who were terrified in one of the corner of the room. 

One of the kinapper decided to act and managed to knock Luther out. In the meantime Ben succeeded to knock out and kill a few of them as well. But he couldn't do anything at this point,he couldn't risk Luther's and the hostages lives. He didn't wanted to release the tentacles but he realised that he didn't had a choice. 

He finally decided to unleash them and soon hoped he hadn't. They were furious, he felt them tear his skin apart. It was more violent than the other times. He didn't even got to see what they did, struggling with the pain that they were causing to him. Blood was blocking his sight. Luther was still held hostage and he didn't know if he had hurt him, he hoped not. 

As the tentacle were still out of control, he felt himself start to lose consciousness. The tentacles had torn his stomach more than violently than before, it hurted a lot and he was losing a lot of blood. He fell to the ground. He lost consciousness as he heard Luther screaming his name.

He woke up later in the house, but it didn't felt right. He wasn't feling any pain, but he was still drenched in blood. 

And then he saw it, his body, or what he assumed was his body, it was hard to tell. He understood immediately and while he was sad, he wasn't exactly surprised. He was crying, he couldn't stop it. It was a shock to see his body like that, he was so pale and the blood was still there. 

He then though about Klaus, oh god, Klaus wasn't going to take this well. None of his siblings would. He tried to make his way toward Klaus's room, but instead of pushing the door he passed trough it. It was unsettling.  
He arrived in Klaus's room, but then he feared that his brother wouldn't be able to see him. He was crying harder than before and decided, despite his fears, to call Klaus.

That obviously didn't go well and that was understandable. Klaus saw him and instantly tried to touch him only for his hand to pass through Ben. Then Klaus lost it, he was crying his eyes out on the floor. Ben didn't know what to do, he was as lost as his brother. It was heartbreaking for him to see his brother like that, he couldn't do anything.

He then saw Klaus search through his room for pills and started panicking, what could he do? Klaus found some and took them, he tried to stop him, but he couldn't stop him. And it was fucking horrible, Klaus Oded in front of him and he couldn't help him, he couldn't help his own brother. Luckily Diego arrived not so long after and helped him. Klaus was right away brought to the infirmary and his mom took care of him. While Klaus was still passed out, he took some time to think about his death.

He first looked at himself and noticed that the blood was still there, apparently it followed him in the afterlife. He hoped he wouldn't have to stay like that forever, it wasn't a pleasant sigh. He wasn't going to lie though, he knew that one day his powers were going to be, literally, the death of him. It honestly wasn't a big surprise to him, but he had hoped that he would get to live his life a little before it happened, not now. 

On the other hand he was a bit relieved to know that he wouldn't be be able to hurt anyone anymore. He was feeling guilty of his death because he knew that his siblings were not going to take this well. Klaus was a good example of that. He really hoped his brother would be okay, it was truly terrifying to see his brother and not being able to help him while he was there. He decided to just wait until Klaus woke up, it would be better for both of them. Thankfully, Klaus woke up the next day at night. But the moment his eyes saw Ben he instantly started to cry. This made Ben even more sad about the situation. 

 

Klaus eventually became accustomed to the presence of Ben and he didn't really had a choice. It was still better than the others ghosts who were constantly screaming at him. Another part of being dead was that he could now see the others ghosts. He then understood what Klaus had to undure alone all these years. The good thing was that, sometime, he could make them go away. But they weren't all bad, some of them were just confused and it saddened him to see them like that, wandering endlessly. 

But now he wouldn't leave Klaus alone, even if he could. One of them had to watch over him and since the other weren't doing a good job at that, he would do it. So here he was, following Klaus, trying to stop him from getting in trouble. And it was hard, trust him, Klaus seems to often end up in trouble. But he still tried to help him anyway. Even if he was now used to it, it still felt weird to be a ghost. He can now pass through things without difficulty, he avoid passing through people though because it was unsettling for him. He can also “teleport” from one place to another, honestly he don't understand how he do it.

Sometimes, when Klaus was asleep, he would check on Vanya. Even if they didn't talk that much before he died, she was still his sister and one of his siblings that he had been the closest to. He was the only one, minus Klaus, who knew where Vanya leaved and that was telling of the relationship between his siblings. He loved everyone but wasn't really close with anyone aside from Klaus, Vanya and Five. He felt like the others didn't understood him, it was sad to say but it was the truth. 

So, really, he was surprised when he heard about her book, and not a really good surprise. He clearly hadn't see it coming. He understood that Vanya always felt like she was left out, because it was literally what happened and still was. So he knew that she didn't take that well, it was a normal reaction. If anyone had been at her place they would have felt the same. But he didn't think that she would wrote a book. Of course writing can be used as a catharsis, it's a good way to purge emotions. But why did she had to publish it ? He didn't understand that, sure they were all fucked up, but none of them would have the though to spill their secrets to the world. He was pissed, a bit, he didn't really like how she talked about Klaus in her book. She can think that but she didn't had to write it.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, remember to leave kudos and comments !


End file.
